Not So Deep Thought

So this is probably going to be my director's chair for stupid commercial/movie ideas and a soapbox attacking our current government administration and how it's all screwed up. Enjoy!

Warning: All material hereafter is probably crap.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

I'm Back!!!

Welcome back all your loyal readers. I just wanted to take a moment and let everyone know I'm back in town. I know there weren't any updates for quite some time, but after the Nov 2nd Election I decided it would be good to get out in the world and see everything that was going on.

It started shortly after my last post. I took a leave of absence from my job and headed up to Canada. My first stop was interesting. I got to see a fairly socialist society and spoke to many people about the advantages/disadvantages to the Canadian way of life. Basically, the quality of living is lower but they get better healthcare. Oh, and nobody could care less about what you do.. own a gun.. fine... smoke weed... fine. My kinda people... except for those ugly tuxedos.

Next on my list was the UK. I was once there almost 18 months ago and it was interesting being back and seeing everybody's take on America. One night while at the pub (it's not a 'bar') I spoke to a fairly drunk Englishman who didn't like Americans. He spat on me and then said something offensive about my mother and told me George W. Bush was a 'wanker'. I'm not sure what that means but I'm guessing from context that it's not good.

Next I went to France. I quickly left when I realized that I hate the fuckin French.

On to Amsterdam. Now this is my kind of place.. easy sex and weed everywhere. I don't think I've ever eaten more or been happier... but I also appreciated the development and social context of America more afterwards. Let me explain... let's say you walk into a sandwich shop here in the US. When you order your sandwich everybody is polite but usually not too friendly. I'm comfortable with that. I don't want to know about your kidney stone if I'm getting a hoagie from you. In Amsterdam though.. wow. I ordered a sandwich and was asked if I wanted some weed and a 3 way with two hungarian princesses. Listen dude, all I want is that sandwich right there.. if I wanted weed and ass, I would have asked you for it.

From here I went to Sweden. Too fuckin cold.. I left pretty quick but not before getting a sandwich from a local shop and asking the shopkeeper where I could get sweet Swedish ass... he directed me to Amsterdam.

By this point it was turning to the late December months and I was getting homesick. I only travelled to a few places but I knew that all the other places on my list were just shittier then these. Iraq/Iran/Pakistan... all of them were going to suck, so I decided to head home.

I left out of Heathrow in London and upon my arrival at the gate I ran into another American couple. Quite a lovely pair I must say. She was blonde with huge breasts and so was her girlfriend. I asked them if they had ever been to Amsterdam. They said they had never been but heard it was fun. "If you're with me, you beautiful baby bunnies, it will be!!!". I got their numbers but apparently they're thinking of moving to Canada...