Not So Deep Thought

So this is probably going to be my director's chair for stupid commercial/movie ideas and a soapbox attacking our current government administration and how it's all screwed up. Enjoy!

Warning: All material hereafter is probably crap.

Friday, July 30, 2004

America Gets Screwed '04

Also known as Vote '04.

Anyone else notice that we've got an idiot and a douchebag running for president? We saw the same thing in '00 when we had Eco-Pussy vs God Bless Texas. In '96 we saw Gimpo vs Jazz. Now I liked Clinton, I think he did some good things for this country, but this country wasn't founded on Strong vs Weak, it was founded on Strong vs Strong.

So for the second time in a row we gotta vote for the worse of two evils. That really bugs the shite outta me! Why can't we come up with better guys then this to run our country!? Why not a woman? Why not a gay black man? If she agrees with my views I'd vote for a lesbian black woman! And I'm sure there are some super-uber intelligent black lesbians out there, so why doesn't she get on a ballot? .... I bet you it's Halle Berry... I hope it's Halle Berry, with those cute little kitty-kat ears!

Thursday, July 29, 2004

This is a total shocker.

A TOTAL shocker:

Income is down

But we can't blame Bush. He's spent $120+ BILLION in rebuilding this country. Oh wait, that was Iraq...

Fuckin jackass republicans

This is why the US should just kick Texas out of the union.

Hey, I love a good protest as much as the next. When the Iraq war came around I supported my friends in VA protesting NOT going to war (yeah, it was fun).

But what really pissed me off about this article is the quote:

Carol Bernhard and friends came from Austin and held a huge sign proclaiming, "This is Bush Country."

She said she didn't plan to see the movie. "I'm not going to give that traitor any of my money," she said.

I'd love to know how Moore is a traitor. He might me a liar, he might be an expert twister, but I'd like to know how critiqueing the President of the United States is considered traitorous. Jesus, how often did we see shit in the papers/media when Clinton was impeached (and it's mostly from these republican fuck beans) ?! YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO CRITIQUE YOUR PRESIDENT, THAT'S THE POINT OF DEMOCRACY!!! What good is it to elect somebody and then not evaluate his proformance.

Personally, I think Bush is a total fucktard. I hope he gets his ass kicked in the election and I hope that something big happens with Kerry (like making a decision).

Now the other part of this article I liked was how protesters were yelling at people turning into the theatre parking lot... my first thought was "what about the people going to see OTHER movies?!" Do they deserve your jeer?!

God I hate Texas... I wish there was something that sounded like "God Bless Texas" but with more of a "I really fuckin hate Texas" ring to it...

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

CNN is liberal!!

In a classic move, almost Mooreish, just pulled a great manuever to help the Democratic party. Check this out:
Kennedy pumping fist

Now, is it just me or is that almost a "black power" type look?! And we know that Bush had been having problems with the NAACP in the past (according to this article atleast), and is now pushing the black vote hard (google for it).

Democrats love black people? Perhaps black people love Demos? Cnn you liberal lying bastards!

Lesbians love James Taylor

and Comedy Central apparently...

Your president....

This is your president, the leader of our free world. He says things like "misunderestimated", and thinks the people who live in Mexico speak Mexican. He's fallen off of a Segway and now twice off a mountain bike.

"Skipper's down, I repeat SKIPPER'S DOWN!"

Anybody want a shotglass?

Ever do anything just because you thought you were supposed to/wanted to, but then later realized you shouldn't have?

Ok, well I have a shotglass here for anybody who wants it. It's from the Excalibur hotel in Las Vegas and has the words 'Excalibur' and 'Allison' on it. I'm not giving it to Allison because I really doubt I'll ever have the oppertunity to. Anybody who wants it can have it. I think I might put it on eBay...

Monday, July 26, 2004

The DNC and all you homos

Ok, I don't know what the homo part was about... but:

Good evening, America. I'd like to address my remarks tonight to Mr. Osama bin Laden. Buddy, you screwed up big time. Guess what, Amigo. I'm coming to get you. I'm not alone, either. The American people are right behind me. You see, you made a big mistake. If you had any brains, you would have challenged me to a game of Scrabble. Or maybe a Beard-Off. You might have won that because I don't have a beard. And when I do, it comes in patchy. But no, you messed up. Because if there's one thing I'm good at, it's punishing evil-doers. You don't believe me, there's over 200 guys in Texas you can ask. Well... you can't ask them right now, but you'll have a chance real soon. And I'm sorry I wasn't there to see your face when you went to the Kabul ATM to get some Quick-Cash. I bet it said "Insufficient Funds". That's right - we froze your assets. It probably ate your card, too. Make no mistake: we're coming for you, bin Laden. I'm gonna make you my own personal "Where's Waldo". And unlike those frustrating Waldo books, I'm gonna find you. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but maybe tomorrow. There might be special operatives outside your cave right now, who knows? Just remember, I'll see you real soon. Because you violated rule Numero Uno: You messed with Texas. That's right. Don't mess with Texas.

Will Farrell as W.

This brings up a good point... the DNC is happening and Kerry's probably going to get the nod from all those whacky lying democrats. Well when he does I suggest the first thing he does is challenge Bush to a debate. I want to see these two horse fuckers go toe to toe in a battle of thinking quick. Sometimes I look at Kerry and I know he's thinking "da dum, da dum, da dum dum" or "Oooompa loooompa doopidy dooo". But, we shouldn't misunderestimate him...

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

The great SC and those bloody brits

So I got back from the great SC yesterday after spending 4 very short days with the fam. 5 years ago I didn't understand the importance of family. Now I do and I wish I could have spent more time with them all.

The brits are in town and leave today for Vegas. I take off too but take a different path (they drive, I fly).

Either way I've got me a bottle of absinth!

Friday, July 16, 2004

Vegas Baby

I'm not gonna be one of those assholes. Alright? It just makes me sick. It's like, some nasty skank who isn't half the woman my girlfriend is, is gonna front me? It makes me want to fuckin' puke!

Vegas Baby! First I go to South Carolina for 4 days, then Vegas for 4 days. Vacation Baby!

Bobby Fischer, burn in hell!

After reading this:

I found out something about chess grand master Bobby Fischer I didn't know before. He's a fuckin asshole.

He said we got what we deserved on Sept 11th... fuck Bobby Fischer, fuck him all to hell. I hope a giant black man rapes him in the anus while wearing a cactus condom. Fuck Bobby Fischer!

Thursday, July 15, 2004

Two Roads Diverged In a Yellow Road

So after looking over some of the other blog sites listed on my dashboard, I realized it is going to be hard to provide meaningful content while still having an edge and personality.

Here I strive: To make a blog worth reading!

Hahaha, yeah right, this is gunna be craptacular.

The devil went down to MAXIM headquarters.

Not sure who's bright idea this was, but this month's cover of MAXIM has gotta the beautiful Anna K (model and occasionaly tennis player, I think some mexican singer gives it to her as well). Before the magazine was even out of my mailbox I was screaming in horror... why might you ask!? Because, the picture was taken with a digital camera!!

I couldn't believe it... pixelation, blur, it looked like crap! Digital photography is great, but when capturing the image of beautiful women, you must use film, 100 speed at the most. Fuck MAXIM for using digital.

And I know what you are all thinking.. "sure, you could tell that quickly?!". Yes, yes I could god damnit and it's total bullshit.

MAXIM, go fuck yourself for using digital cameras that suck.

I'm sorry, I thought you was corn.

So here goes, starting the blogging back up. I had one of these last year and used it a lot, but wasn't too bright about WHEN I posted (usually drunk). It got me in a lot of trouble and in the end I took it down.

This time though I'll only do it when I'm stoned. hahaha, just kidding, I don't smoke.

Title reference: An episode of Futurama, the chicken lawyer says it.